A Diary of A Single Man: A Father’s Day After Thought

When you’ve fathered children and not one has reached out to say, “Happy Father’s Day”, dad.

The crime behind the pain, the shame and remorse.

A Father’s Day After Thought

When you’ve paid over $200,000 in child support and have little to nothing to show from it.

Dad with a lowercase “d” has been placed inside a bottle and put out of sight on a dusty shelf. The unimaginable and excruciating pain that’s felt after a relationship has failed, crashed and burned. Another one bites the dust; a fatherless home in search and in need of a replacement. As the sunset fades to black, a new reality sets in and the process begins of picking up the scattered pieces shattered across the living room and kitchen floor. To try again, once more before our final call.

How the menu is never filling…

Here lie’s the abyss.  There’s no story here pointing the finger, placing the blame onto someone else.  You will not find this test subject cursing others for his short comings in life. Nor will you find a complaint number, filed. No unresolved issues about an oversize sweater or a cheap tie received. There isn’t an accusation found, just an mere candid observation. 

A Father’s Day After Thought 

How a beautiful flower blossoms in a dark room without any light. 

 –

Beloved, life is everlasting; continuous. You can see it if you know how. You can even hold it in your hands. It’s warm to the touch and it gives off light. You’ll discover it has a little weight to it, if you hold it right.  All light surrounds itself around darkness. You are a vessel of sound in the mist of darkness; a shadow which reflects a house of light and insight.

Darkness is a closed door, a lingering illness filled with suffering. It’s damp and lonely. It’s also a cold unforgiving, miserable wind which forever twist and bends.

A Father’s Day After Thought

How two people can come to together to procreate and over a period of time find themselves unable to relate.

 –

Balancing The Scales:

 When one works two full time jobs to keep his head above running water while holding his breath with a punctured lung, during a raging storm.

The domino effect and the overall countless total which lies ahead.

From the lives which are lost, to the healing during and thereafter the recovery mission to the part we all partake.

The Paragon Effect:

Behold the awesome weight and the responsibility of a person who’s regarded to be a perfect example of a particular quality of substance. 

 A Father’s Day After Thought

The feeling of being boxed in and trapped.

How life tapers off at the core. 

A Father’s Day After Thought

The volume of the static from the television becomes unbearable. Christmas and birthdays are not like they use to be. A big beautiful ice cream cake with candles melting as unwrapped gifts are found under a swinging body hanging from a steel pipe on the wall. As his stiff body swings from left to right his stress is relieved, chest is no longer tight. The loop-knot tied around his neck indicated there wasn’t any struggle. It seems like an awful waste of good cake. Maybe he could’ve exchanged the gifts if he didn’t like them. Why do people judge and meddle into others affairs? Who knows what goes through a person’s mind on the day they decide to end it all?

Revelations

There’s a book out there, a guide, for the ignorant and sick at heart. Does anyone care to share the title of this book?

It’s a book, a manual a whole person doesn’t need, at all.

Harlem, 

 

Heaven is at the foot of Mother…

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