A Diary of A Single Man: Heavens Peak

When the wedding ring becomes a recession proof tradition.

A Diary of A Single Man: Heavens Peak


July 1, 2017

12:30pm 

Dear diary

When you deal with the young and the restless you’ll end up broken hearted. To be brutally honest, it was over before it started. 

Don’t hate because she’s beautiful. Instead, congratulate the fool who finds the strength to walk away. Unfortunately, I wasn’t the fool. I literally fell in, head first. I was wrong from 21 jump street, so never mind me. I’m just the poor sap lying in the middle of the street with a knot on his head for a hat. There’s blood running down the side of my face with no towel nor ice in sight.  I’m a little wobbly, but I’ll be alright as soon as I hail down a cab to get me back to my hotel room, to sleep this off.

–  

I was in South Beach at the wrong place but at the right time. She was dancing by herself in the corner of Club Cabana, a nightclub in the middle of little Havana. I have to admit, the night was lit. It was $2 Tuesday with $5 wings and $3 fries. The grease was poppin’ and the drinks were off the chain. Riding shotgun was her girlfriend Kayla whom was eating cinnamon quill sticks she had stuffed inside her purse from home. At first, I didn’t notice Kayla because I was preoccupied and couldn’t take my eyes off of the sweet and lovely butterfly dancing around and about the club. It was the way she moved and strutted her stuff. It was a sight to write home about. There must’ve been something in those tequila shots because I wasn’t thinking straight. My sore eyes started to water. She was half my age and I had mentally smacked myself hard for thinking the unthinkable. Something must’ve come over me and my imagination was getting away with itself. Like a stacked deck of loaded cards, I slipped and fell. I bust my shit wide open and I didn’t even have my second  drink. As for the rest of the story, well you already know how It’s going to end. It isn’t too hard to tell. Afterwards, I somehow managed to piece my face back together and at the same time I picked myself up from off of the floor. I even found my lips and tongue flapping on the table in front of me. 

A Diary of A Single Man: Heavens Peak

July 1, 2017

2:00pm

Dear diary

The clouds over Miami are magical and despite the beauty of it all, I couldn’t ignore all that I’d later pay for.

She was young, just the way I like them. She has beautiful, tight skin with a firm body a silver dollar can bounce off from. Breath smelt like Virgin Mary’s carnation breast milk. I’m talkin’ sweet. I was lightly seasoned; in Latin terms that means, old as fuck but with enough money in my pocket made me just cute enough. I was exactly what she was lookin’ for. She was everything I needed. Her entire physical menu was assorted and filled with edible exotic fruit to feast upon and to devour. This gorgeous of a vision is nothing more than fantasy sex and money already spent. Love is a game of chance and one has to be in it to win it. So, here it is. I’m willing to play and I just love the color pink. With a ring on her finger, I’m game for sport. For some men, this may come around once in a lifetime. To many men, this will be a experience to cherish forever. These are the things people read, talk and dream about but it never materialize and manifest itself into fruition.

How can I explain it to express the way I’m feeling?Let’s see. She’s the kind of woman a man would pick up his cellphone, dial his home number and tell the other person on the phone that he just found sunshine, he’s never coming home and he wishes you and the kids the best of luck. In other words, she has that hold your breath and count to ten, effect. I’m talking about, close your eyes and dive the fuck in, type of a frame, for a body. I mean, the hold on tight, type of a woman. The type of woman you take home saying, “Hey Mom, look what I’ve found.” This young lady was that rare type and if you closed your eyes, if you blinked too quickly, she’d instantly disappear. Okay, check this out. Picture this… The hurt factor. Meaning, hold her and love her as if you know you’re going to lose her tomorrow. At this very moment I’m going to take my ass, over there, to the men’s restroom and have a chat with myself and with lil me. If you know what I mean. I need to reason with myself and spend a little mirror time and share this moment with the universe, before I come out. This is epic shit right here at my door step. I mean where’s the 100mg of Viagra? I’m overdue for some statement sex. This woman right here is three kids right behind each other without thinking. Well, let me slow my roll. Okay, maybe not the three kids but you know what I mean. But first let me place my food order, “Excuse me, waitress”.


The shape and the flawlessness form of her legs were jaw dropping and mouth watering. I ponder how often they harmonize and communicated with each other during slow motion intermission. In my head, I made up all the reasons to not pursue her. It was my body language which had a mind of its own. I was taken by surprise by her sexy. I was blown away from a distance. She had this unique force of character; a next level of determination with style and nerve to match. Her moxie was over the top with a wardrobe which stapled her swag.

When I returned to my table things had gotten a little fuzzy and the room seemed to slow down as if I was in a time warp like as if I was in a movie.  She guided over towards me, smiling and smelling my sweet & spicy 🌶 hot wings. As this hungry angel helped herself to my fries 🍟, I said, “Is this the flavor that you savor over here my neighbor?” Baby girl, smiled and introduced herself after she had about three or four of them but at this point who’s counting. She was definitely getting her fill. When she reached for her fifth. I lightly smacked her hand and asked, “Don’t they feed you at the orphanage? Or did they kick you out for having bad manners? Which one is it? I mean slow down and save some for later, why don’t you. They aren’t going anywhere.” (She laughs real hard) I said, “How about I get you a drink so you can wash that down? Waitress. No worries, I’m paying.”

My fries obviously had her name on them. She laughed again and said, “Hi, I’m Honey thanks for inviting me over.” With a smile I said, ‘Harlem, Honey.  We shook hands and I made sure I didn’t let her hand go before I said, “If you keep eating my fries I’m going to have to claim you on my taxes.” Honey was quick with her reply, “Make sure you get the receipt with my name and telephone number to make it legit.”

A Diary of A Single Man: Heavens Peak

July 1, 2017

7:30pm

Dear diary

No money. No girlfriend.

Pick your poison.

I’ve traveled through the roughest and the toughest neighborhoods of this nation but there was no preparation to deal with and to overcome, her smile. The smile on her face made it easy to trust. Am I a fool?  Is this love or is it lust? Either way, I’m about to find out.  Illusions from the love we made across the table opened a window of opportunity to search deep into her eyes leading to her soul. From the look of her heaven sent face, I knew my next mistake was sitting across from me. However, love is a game I’m more than willing to play. Honey Sweet was the only softness in me who read me like an old paperback novel folded and placed neatly inside her back pocket.

Her Watermelon Lips

Midnight Moonlight Gloss

Unforgettable Hips 

Lollipop Lip Frost

Lil Bit 

Miss Slim Thick

Does The Trick

– 

This nightclub affair will either be disastrous and go up in flames or it will become the best experience of all time.  Honey instantly became a silent oath. “My bejesus, sweet hallelujah, The one I crave for and have this insane need for her to scratch my deepest itch.  Lourdes, my triple take. I’m gracious and thankful. Amen.”

Secretly admitting to the world to whom I pray and fiend for. It felt like a natural high, similar to a spaceship taking flight. Sailing freely, kinda like hang gliding over the ocean at night with the city lights sparkling down below and in the background. This is more than I’d care to mention. I’m revealing too much information. Is it possible for a lonely heart to exhale?

– 

Heaven and hell does coexist. I’m at the peak of heaven’s gate. I can see inside. Only one person will live with a ghost in their house, tonight.

A Diary of A Single Man: Heavens Peak

July 2, 2017

9:36am

Dear diary

I had a little money saved for a rainy day. I’m chasing after someone who doesn’t belong to me and it seems like it rains in Miami every day. 

– 

The boys her age never realize all that it take to keep a strong woman in their lives. They never do all they should when they have the chance to do so. They’re too busy throwing peanuts at the great white grown elephant. Feeding her one peanut at a time. Eventually, as always, frustration sets in and the great white elephant charges. Their ego, selfish pride, their wants and their needs transform into blinders on a horse along with a leather tethered restraint which cloud their vision and range of scope. Leaving the house in a mess. They fail to walk in the house with flowers during the season of rain. During the pain they forget to hold hands and to play music which allows them to dance to the song that brought them together. After she’s gone that king size bed seems to be a little bit bigger than they last remembered. They’ll discover their girl is singing and dancing with another man. They’ll also find a way to be upset with the new guy in her life, for their short comings and they refuse to look at themselves in the mirror. It’s simply best to bury the hatchet and salvage what little they have left. Besides an ex is meant to be an ex. As hard as it may be, it serves a divine purpose. It paves a way for a new heart, a new mind, a new body and soul. The experience is necessary for the reshaping of a new spirit.  

The old spirit inside the host would have to undergo an exorcism, before she can properly receive a new spirit.

 The many things I wish to do…

– 

The exorcist enters the room, purging out of the host, old, dormant, dark spirits and replacing it with a spirit of light. The grown man effect. It’s the mature vs. the immature. Honey’s appetite demanded true grit, attention, focused passion and appreciated affection which only a grownup can provide. I was more than willing to fill her empty cup and quench her thirst. But first, Sweetie desired to be touched like a woman needs to be touched. Such treatment would require an artist eye and a painter’s gentle brush, stroking her canvas mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Her life is at a crossroad for higher learning. More than often the student desires to stand upon the shoulders of the teacher and dare to look beyond. Something many young men aren’t equipped to do generally due to their lack of experience in life. 

A Diary of A Single Man: Heavens Peak

July 2, 2017

3:30pm

Dear diary


My Honey Sweet

My heart drowns in loveless poverty. Mentally, I’m suffering from welfare reform. Physically, I’m drained & defeated. I try to keep my distance from others, especially the opposite sex. The plan is to stay focused and to stay clear from eye candy. In the end, they’ll only induce cavities and cost you pain in more ways than one. To be honest I work better as a lone warrior. I have no time for distractions. However, she has a way about herself that cuts the distance to my fortress paving a bridged gap to my heart. Honey whispered into my ear that she had seen me smiling in my sleep. I was imagining holding her tight. On the real, it was partially true. When I had awaken I was holding my pillow. It’s typical coming from a man who has taken himself out of the game. There’s something about a man who’s 5 years divorced and 7 years celibate. Time stands still for nobody. I think, I’m long overdue to have some fun.

There’s a rumor going around that I talk in my sleep. I never verbally expressed to her how I felt. I guess, I didn’t have to. It was obviously written all over my face. I didn’t care and I’m not scared. On the second day, she had became my social counselor and my physical therapist who conducted spontaneous head trauma without warning. After all, I did pray for it. God is good and she’s always on time.

She’s the one for me. Honey, a very sexy female one who pays close attention to detail. She represented a fresh start. Needless to say, she had me figured out.  Nonetheless, Sweetie made me a better person; a better man. She leaned over and said, “I only want what’s best for you, my love.” My mother once echoed those very words. I took it as conformation.  My Sweet, my ultimate final destiny with an awesome mind and hypnotizing body designed by the wisdom of time. My Honey Sweet. A beautiful expression that seems to stay on my mind, all the time. When baby girl kissed me on my cheek and called me papi chulo, it made me weak. Being around her I sometimes find it hard to speak. I’m done. Somebody stick a fork in me. Honey is trying to drive me crazy. I can feel the heat between us whenever we’re close. When we’re together it’s like a flame to a candle melting us into one and become wax. A long time ago, my mother warned me about women like her, those who capture your soul and take your breath away in the heat of the night while you sleep. I was young at the time and I always thought my mother was describing signs of a heart attack. 

To this ole man, she’s an answer to a prayer I’ve made a very long time ago. (Side Bar: You’re going to allow me to dream, aren’t you?) I’d be her fool, the one who quickly dash to her rescue. Placing myself into harms way just to protect her and to protect my future from any would be pest. She’s a much needed a breath of fresh air. I whisper under my breath, “please don’t leave. Like two plus two my life equates to nothing without you.” This something kind of special of a lady erases all doubts and all of my maybes. My sweet. My discovered lifeline, my heartbeat which keeps me alive. She’ll always have a place and a space inside my heart and mind. Honey is apart of my personal history. I pray we’ll never part.
– 

A Diary of A Single Man: Heavens Peak

July 2, 2017

1:30pm

Dear diary

Big things have small beginnings.

She surrendered her body to me as if I were the police, with little to no fight. Arms, hands and legs raised above her precious little head spelled a small tail of what’s to come. Honey Sweet only struggle was with the force from the girth of the planting of my flag, which waved so ever proudly. It was epic to say the least. It was like, one small step into her for man. One bold giant leap into her for mankind. Her face glistened, then it glowed. The light reflected off from her diamond ring only to bounce around in harmonic motion.  Blood rushing to her head leaving her feeling a little lightheaded made Sweetie a bit dizzy when she tried to sit up too quickly. From the middle of the launch pad Honey looked back at me as if the entire NASA Fleet and Florida Gator soccer team lined up behind me. The expression on her face was priceless. With a smile upon my face, I leaned over and whispered to her, “It’s just little ole me securing the goal, baby girl.  Just lil ole me.” 

Afterwards, she told me how she love the way I hold her in my arms. Then added, I hold her in a way she had never felt before. Honey expressed, the way I hold her makes her entire body sway and tingle whereas she want to hold on tight and never let go. Sweetie mentioned, it felt like moonlight. When she made love to me it felt like her entire body was saying, “I surrender. Make me feel like I’m the only woman in the world. Do as you wish to me. Hit it like you want it.


A Diary of A Single Man: Heavens Peak

July 3, 2017

9:30pm

Dear diary

Her face glistened in all of her glory beneath thee

She taste like a 9 volt battery

When I held her

It felt like moonlight


Her love spread as wide as the sea. Honey’s basement was deep like the ocean. My lust sprouted as big as a tree. Together we wrote beautiful music together. Our collaboration left a symbol of a ribbon in the sky. We took tours of every room. Sweetie became the thunder behind the light. Honey has this way about herself of making things better than things actually are.

She has this lingering fragrance  of divinity about herself. A remarkable silver dollar potential with nighttime deferential. Her accent definitely turns me on. From the very moment she talk, to the way she walk and that unforgettable smile there’s a moment of clarity which becomes an epiphany which resonates an awesome beauty from the inside out. Whenever she blows me a kiss from a distance I swear I can feel it splash against my left and right cheek.

A Diary of A Single Man: Heavens Peak

July 3, 2017

3:30am

Dear Diary

  Unsettling times of reality


Who we marry
Who we settle for
Who we dream about
Are three separate entities
Which speaks volumes about the person standing in the mirror

– 

(The cellphone rings with it’s unique ringtone) It was the kind of ringtone which corrected clouded vision. At the slightest glance Honey has the power to cancel Christmas without notice. I need Christmas in my life. Shit, Come to think about it I desire having, New Years Eve, Happy Birthdays and Just Because days in my life. Those special days are filled with gifts, surprises and great stories waiting to be unfolded and opened. Each and every one of them would undoubtedly be cherished.

The power of a flower and
the ocean between the rich and the poor.

– 

(Honey walks into the bathroom to take the incoming call.) That’s when the light hit the rock on her finger, again. It made my astigmatism twitch. My eye jumped all over the place. every which-away. I mean, how could I not notice it. The shit put me in my economic place. That shit screamed out, “BALLIN’ “.  Should ever a recession ever surface Honey will land on her feet comfortably with more than enough income left over to replenish her cup. 

A Diary of A Single Man: Heavens Peak

July 4, 2017

6:30pm

Dear diary

Who am I fooling but myself? I’m such a dreamer.
– 

7 days of sunshine

1 day of rain

The dark clouds

Brought about tremendous pain

– 

Scented candles spark the decor. Her images above and below reflect summertime sadness. Memories of sharing 8 days with a lingering loan. The hurt before the actual pain. Knowing she’s not going to be there at the end burns a hole in the pit of my stomach. We may have spent time together but she was never mine to begin with. Babe wore a diamond I could never afford. Unless they accept payment plans. Once a woman gets a tastes of that kind of living its hard to turn away from. 


The house is smoking because it’s on fire.
At the same time there are those
Who are looking for the keys to walk through the front door.
I find myself smack dab in the center of ground zero.
– 

A Diary of A Single Man: Heavens Peak

July 4, 2017

10:30pm

Dear diary

 No matter the outcome, I have to admit, I stood at the gate of heavens peak. God revealed herself and touched my shoulder. Frozen in time, I couldn’t speak but was warned to know the difference between attention, a session and a disguised present neatly wrapped is merely a road leading to a township called, deception. She allowed my arms to hold love, witness it and experience the pain of losing it. I lowered my head and began to weep. Mentally and spiritually she challenged me, made me see another reality. My eyes had became opened.


Honey wore
That symbolic flower dress, I like
It made other people stop, point and stare
That incredible smelling perfume she wears
Is just right as it entice 
Her aroma stays on my mind
Morning, noon and especially at night
(Yeah)
A beautiful sight of an experience

The sounds of explosions heard from miles away

Smoke fills the air creating its own clouds

Fireworks light up the sky

The special effects dazzles the crowd

It’s day 4 and I still couldn’t take my eyes off of her

As the smoke clears

I awaken to see lady liberty and

The worlds most beautiful colors

Red, white and blue

I’m proud to stand here on American soil.

A Diary of A Single Man: Heavens Peak

July 5, 2017

10:30am

Dear diary

Honey let me enter that booty
Like it was a hot tub jacuzzi

Splashin’ around and about

Bubbles bursting in the air as the steam began to rise
I crept inside the window of Sweetie’s hidden fruit basket
Honey allowed me to take it
Like a thief in the night

The things she did to me in return

The passionate bump in the night

The things we did to each other
In the bedroom that night were
Visions of sweet intimacy
It made my entire body trembled 
It made her flower blossom then bloom in its rarest form
I found myself climbing the walls 

She deserved a standing ovation

I crave for more of that tight
(Good Goosh)
It felt similar to a locksmiths 

Vice grip
Hot and spicy
I’m whipped
Laced with that fire
Sweet Honey barbecue chips
You know what I like and
The exact way I like it
You laid that sauce
Down on me just right

The things she does with her lip gloss

Makes me hold her tight 

A Diary of A Single Man: Heavens Peak

July 6, 2017

9:23pm

Dear diary

No happiness

No wind in our sail 


As soon as those clothes came off, the sound of her brackets jangled

She whispered in my ear, “Do you trust me?”
Then poured it all over me.

I was lost for words but she made me feel like a boss

For years I’ve kept myself isolated longing

To be loved in a way that would

Crack this hard shell. I needed her
And I believe she needed me
We shared each other
We served a temporary obsession
We both made impressions
Lets not fool ourselves
Thinking we’re going in the same
Direction

(Yes)
You stay on my mind
Yes, the sex was amazing
It was like classic rock switching
To an R&B station
(A sports car shifting gears)
But was it real
After the roller coaster ride
I had to grab my surfboard and
Scamper away with the tide

Oh, how I want some more of that hot n spicey sauce
(Lil Moma)
Some more of that lip gloss and some more of that head trauma

(Please)
A side bowl of that La La you roll
Just before I go deeper than
Six feet inside of your coffin

(baby)
So deep you’ll start coughin’ 

(lady)
After I hit you with that chefs special

(We cookin, baby”)
Have you comin’ back
For another refill
– 

To acquire the knowledge of treating a woman, good. To give her many things to ponder in such a way it will keep her awake at night. Leaving her with the intimate feeling of goose bumps tingling across her entire body. Her mind will begin to race, develop and expand like the universe, taking her to higher heights of love and the understanding of love making. The woman who experiences such love will never be the same and will find it hard to return to child’s play.


A Diary of A Single Man: Heavens Peak

July 7, 2017

4:30pm 

Dear diary

– 

How quickly sweet turns sour

The Bumbling Bee Sting

Love hurts and I tried to put Honey first. I was good, being by myself and on my own. I was fine the way it was, being alone. There was no drama and no headache just loneliness, emptiness and remorse. It was cool to fuck jadedly on some faded love affair on the low until she straighten out her shit at home. I couldn’t ignore her previous commitment. I saw your ring from the start. I not trippin’. I’m another name on your hit list. I knew what it was and we had fun while you were on the run. This jaded taste of love was filling for the moment. It was cool to kick it but you received those phone call you changed, had gotten it twisted and started actin’ like a lil sick bitch. They warned me about you but I didn’t believe it was true.


You threw dirt on my name. I was doing just fine before I met you. I should’ve left you where I found you. The intoxicating fumes from this toxic relationship bubbles pealing back the layers of my skin exposing everything, leaving me naked and stripped with nothing but the shameful truth. You’re married and I was your plaything for an extended weekend. I was only fooling myself. The chills I’m feeling right about now leads me into a dark closet rocking back and forth.

I don’t need anyone’s cold hand to hold. I’ll be a solo rider until the day I die. There’s a fire inside which keeps me alive and warm like a blanket. I don’t want Nathan from anyone. All I ever need is the air that I breath, my heartbeat and a story-line for a timeline.

As far as I can see all I need is my music, a beat, a pen, a pad and some privacy. The more time I have alone allows me to think clearly. Love is blind and I can’t waste anymore time.

Thanks to her situation, I wrap my hate blanket around my entire body on cold and lonely nights, cursing the world. I don’t need anyone’s soft touch.

As I learn to cope and manage my anger in a substandard manner I know from here on there will be no sweet tender lips to gently kiss away the pain that reveal my hidden scars, fears and tears, now placed in a dormant space. Like a mummy, I’m too old to need a hand to hold. The fire which resides inside allows me to unfold a story buried  in my soul.

– 

 A Diary of A Single Man: Heavens Peak

July 8, 2o17

9:30am

Dear diary

So, my sweet…

I guess this is the end my friend

(As I watch the airplane fly across the sky) I think to myself, will I ever recover and will I ever discover my very own lifetime partner? But for now and from here on, all I need is this beat in my heart, a bowl of grief, a computer to pluck at and to mistreat. My only need a ménage on lonely nights with a pen, a pad, some music, the stories in my head to escape and cheat with.

These pulsating visions keep me alive.
Hate become a comforting tailor made blanket which will keep me warm at night. I wouldn’t expect for you to understand. Besides…

My bed sheets still smell like you.

(The phone rings in the background)

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A Diary of A Single Man: Heavens Peak

Harlem,

Heaven is at the foot of Mother… 

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